Here is how we destroy the mind of our children

I am a pedagogist-teacher and I have been dealing with formation for several years now. Too often, however, I see a situation over which I can no longer remain silent, even if it is not the first time I talk about it.

I am very indignant about the ease with which our children are judged and “tortured” psychologically. And I'm not exaggerating. Because torture is not only physical, but also, especially these days, the psychological kind.

We live in a very superficial society, in which the hectic nature of everyday life and little patience we have towards our children, push us  to conclusions about their potential and cognitive abilities, as long as we are relieved of the burden of following them in their studies.

Too often parents bring their children to me emotionally dejected, psychologically distraught, unmotivated and without the slightest self-esteem.

They come to me saying that their child has difficulties in study; that he or she cries through the lack of the desire to study; that he or she does not want to go to school. They bring them to me telling me that the teacher said he definitely has some cognitive problems and when they come to me, they have already started sessions with the speech therapist, and most of the time, the doctor has already certified him or her a slow learner.

But you know what? In 99% of cases the child has nothing, making up all the lost ground within a year!

I have asked myself several times if you ever wondered how your kids react to all this untrue talk about their learning abilities. Did you ever wonder how they feel? How are they? What do they think of all that medical research and those alienating tutorials to which they are also subjected simply because they have bad handwriting? Did you ever wonder looking at the handwriting of a doctor if he was dysgraphic?

I'll tell you what our children think! They consider themselves inferior, different, stupid, incapable unlike their classmates. And their psyche changes, becoming ugly.

They lose their self-esteem, they become sad, they become fearful and at at school they don't produce their best any more, they do not feel capable and they convince themselves that they will not succeed in their studies; inside they wonder why they have to go on studying; why they have to go to school, what use it is...why the school doesn't get burned down!

I am very indignant! with unprepared teachers in teaching who feel entitled to diagnose without having the competence.

I am very indignant! with the connivance of the psychiatrists who feel constrained to find an anomaly in a child who just needs to be respected during his learning time, while their diagnosis is based on stats. (I remind you that Albert Einstein showed his genius only at university, proving terribly deficient in all his previous courses of study, especially mathematics; and although today it is said that he was dyslexic, nothing and no one at that time, fortunately, prevented him from believing in himself and from becoming what we all know). Do we want to discuss the speech-therapists? Who destroy the thought-processes of the child, boring him with so many little exercises which distance him more and more from the school? And all this just to avoid admitting that that patient does not need their help, but only an effective form of teaching which they (the therapists) know nothing of.

But it is a system for shifting the blame: the teacher puts the blame on the parents, the parents on the doctor, the doctor on the speech therapist and the speech therapist on the problem diagnosed by the doctor who unfortunately can improve, but not cure; and there is no cure simply because there is no disease!

But I am also indignant with you parents! That do not have the patience to listen to your children; that you who spoon-feed them as if they were still infants, without weaning them in the development of relationships and in their continuous and steady growth of skills. And this is a serious mistake, very serious, because you do not allow them to grow, to develop independence, to conquer that piece of the world at school, that only belongs to them. You do not want to follow and understand the changes that the school forces them to develop, you do not have the desire to understand that the real problem might be in their relationship with you, with the teacher or his classmates. Why is it so: almost always the problems at school have their roots deeply embedded in human relationships.

So let us do not destroy the mind and the vitality of our children, have the courage and humility to evaluate your relationship with them and to consider that which the teacher has with your son or daughter, too. Before embarking on the diagnostic route which as such in the child's mind invariably leads to thoughts of illness and therefore of being different from classmates. Remembering also that today that which is commonly defined as dyslexia in the majority of cases is an abuse of terminology and use of medicine on perfectly healthy children simply for business purposes. Let us not confuse difficulties of learning and relationships by using the excuse of illness, an illness based solely on statistics. In this way we will avoid bringing up children who are insecure, rebellious, aggressive, listless, sad, frightened and of low self-esteem.


Dr.ssa Tiziana Cristofari
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